i had been doing a really good job of staying out of fandom wank stuff and now i feel myself getting pulled back in and it’s not the greatest thing for my mental health so i’m probably going to go back to not being a part of this anymore
but i do want to say for the record though before i disappear again: i don’t think i’m perfect and i recognize i’m privileged in a lot of ways and i do acknowledge that i have a lot to learn and that nobody should treat me like an authority on social issues and i’m sorry if i presented myself as an authority in the past during my twfp days or whatever?
i don’t think i’m more moral or a better person than anybody else, i’m just trying to be better than myself all the time. i want to be a person who only does good but i get that that’s pretty much impossible so i at least try to fix it when i do harm. i can remember at least two times i majorly fucked up in the course of interacting with other fandom-critical fans and those fuckups were directly related to my white privilege and there are probably other fuckups of mine that i’m not even aware of and i apologize for those mistakes and also for apparently giving people the impression that i considered myself incapable of making mistakes in the first place.
i am flawed.
honestly at this point i don’t care at all about “shipping what you want to ship (◡‿◡✿)" and "its ok to stan whoever as long as you know they’re not perfect"
what’s way more important is the safety and well-being of survivors of abuse and sexual violence. regardless of intentions reblogging a ton of gif sets of an abusive relationship as an otp can have real harmful effects because a ton of people legitimately don’t know these relationships are abusive and unhealthy and a ton of people have actually been in abusive relationships and have had people not believe them or have been unable to recognize it themselves. i’m so tired of ppl loving “fucked up” ships that are actually just adults abusing children or one person having a massive amount of power over the other. how you react to stuff in fiction does actually matter and it shouldn’t be taboo to tell people to be self-critical about this kind of thing.
likewise i want people to stop dancing around what their fave characters are actually are. lots of fandom favorites are legitimately abusers and rapists and just thinking “ok i know they’re problematic” as you reblog isn’t really good enough? we really need to start talking about stuff and naming what it is like this instead of just making like “REMINDER THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO JUSTIFY LIKING WHATEVER CHARACTER [FIFTY EMOTICONS]” cause like yeah that’s true but also there are other things we need to think about, like how we all end up celebrating characters who are doing unacceptable things that hurt people. when a character is abusive or racist or anything else it shouldn’t be something that like 15 people know. it should be something that is talked about and addressed even if you like that character and their relationships in whatever media it is. there’s a huge problem if we can watch something on tv or anywhere else and not realize that it’s bad and that it actually happens in real life and pretending that it’s ok in fiction can actually translate over to real people.
so i want it to start being standard to start thinking about characters and relationships you like in fiction and how you talk and blog about them and how that matters. bc it seems like a ton of ppl on this site demand a lot of validation so they can feel ok about their ships and their faves and like ok sure like whatever you want but that doesn’t mean you feeling ok about stanning someone who exploits other ppl is more important that talking about that abuse and how ppl see it and how it affects people in real life. i know no one can think about this all the time and i wouldn’t want them to but i think it’s really really important that we try to think about it when we can bc making more ppl knowing about what abusive behaviors are might actually help ppl. i mean we need at least need to get to the point where we can tag abuse for what it is so people can keep themselves safe when they go on this website. i just think we can all do a lot better and it can start with realizing that media keeps normalizing abuse and other harmful shit and that a lot of times we buy into that
fandom’s stance towards kate/derek seems to be “emotional manipulation and abuse aren’t really that bad so we need to add statutory rape to the mix to reALLY condemn it!!!!” and i’m forever grossed out
this is EXACTLY why i’m so uncomfortable with people claiming he was underage and kate was a pedophile even though it’s been confirmed multiple times that that’s not the reality of canon
people act like kate abusing him is more okay if he was an adult when it happened so they have to pretend he was underage and it’s so fucked up
I am not going to reblog that fandom post going round, but I’m still so baffled and annoyed by it so I’m gonna vent my opinions about why I think this fan’s actions were so incredibly rude.
Let’s take another scenario.
Let’s say you used to frequent Starbucks. You really enjoyed their drinks at first, but now they’re going in a direction you don’t really like. So you’ve decided to buy one last Starbucks, and after that you won’t drink their coffee anymore. But you can’t just give Starbucks the satisfaction of you bowing out, can you? Not after you’ve put so much time and effort and money into consuming their coffee. So you gotta tell someone why you’re leaving. Because it matters.
So you go to the Starbucks, and you buy your venti frappucino with fifty syrups and whatever, it’s really expensive, okay. And you lounge on the counter, sipping your coffee, and you tell the barista, your favorite barista, always has a smile on their face, even spells your name right on your to-go cup, the one who’s a big part of why you’ve kept coming back for so long, you tell them, “I need to talk to you.”
Dylan O’Brien for Elle Magazine
THROW ME AGAINST A WALL
malia tate getting a mccall pack tattoo though
rolling up the baggy sleeves of her comfy sweaters to show it off because she’s so happy to belong to such a wonderful group of people, so proud to call them her pack, her family
do i need a caption anymore goodbye
a plot bunny from these tags, which were heavily influenced by this hella gorgeous drawing
Kira and Scott were high school sweethearts, more than a little sheltered, and cheerful to the point of outshining the sun. They weren’t the couple Stiles was expecting to meet through grindr to teach the girlfriend how to ‘ride’ well. In fact, he hadn’t even brought his skateboard. (He had brought his lucky boxers though- Batman.)